What happens when you pray…

There isn’t a person you wouldn’t love if you could read their story.

What a truth.

My feet once again start to walk over the same road I have walked for months. Today  is a day to be dressed for winter. I am not a fan of winter. Winter just seems to have crept up so quickly. It seems only last week autumn was still playing out its beauty. As I breathe into my scarf pulled up over my face I start to pray. The same prayers, the cries of my heart for this place. I am not discouraged but I am tired. Challenged by my thoughts, of conversations overheard. Trying to work out the reason for my unsettled, wanting more feeling. I grasp hold of the pram and we begin with more determination in my step. More desperation in my voice.   I have watched seasons change, the leaves turning their different colours. I have watched homes change their style for the different holidays. I have walked the same street, the same roads, passed the same houses and I want change to come here in all of this place.

Then, as always, as I walk these streets my heart clicks, it feels like home. I feel like I am home. I want to stay here, I always want to stay a whole lot longer than I do every morning.

There isn’t a person you wouldn’t love if you could read their story. I hear that again in my heart as I walk….

This went deeper than I thought it would. This is true for me. No matter how much my prejudgments, my fickle mind-set, my prejudices, my sinful heart make me feel and think something, once I hear someone’s story it changes everything. There hasn’t been one person I haven’t loved after hearing their story.

It changes how I love them, how I see them, how I speak to them and how I treat them. The beauty of this sentence is that everyone has a story. Truly, everyone has a past, a brokenness, a story told or untold. Hearing their stories change everything, peoples stories drive us to love and to care.

I spend my days alongside some of the most amazing people.  Some of these people  life has not treated them well. But they are beautiful people, amazing people, people created in God’s image who have a story, a past, a present and a future. When I hear their stories it drives me to want to create a better world for all of us, to bring our brokenness in line with His beauty. To create a world that isn’t divided and painful but lives in this tension of helping one another become who we are supposed to be. It’s my reason for doing what I do – I am compelled by success stories I have heard of those now in great ministry all because someone believed in them, even as a child when their world did not make sense. All of this is what draws me on my knees to pray for Gods kindness, grace and love to intervene. Knowing that through Him anything is possible.  Trusting that these will be our stories. There is so many more reasons for doing what I do but these aren’t my stories to tell.

And there is still this struggle within…..And then I realised. It hit me. Hard. My feet slowed.

And here is my confession time: I have lived for a long time in a reverse snobbery mind-set. I rebelled against my middle class background, the well to do lifestyle. I wanted and still in reality want away from all of that. Money doesn’t impress me and comfort really isn’t that appealing to me. So I began to judge and be unkind in my heart and my thoughts to those who had more, that money was no problem. I had this reverse snobbery mind-set and that didn’t look good on me either. And here I am, still needing to hear my own advice.

To believe there isn’t a person you wouldn’t love if you could read their story.

We all have our crap, money or no money. We are all a broken people in need of a Saviour, some of us are just better at wearing the mask. And here I am today as I walk these streets, one foot in front of the other more assured of my calling and my place. Not because of my class or status or that it’s easy all the time but it’s where I feel most alive, where I feel God the most near. Love God, love others, leave the rest up to Him, including my sinful heart.

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