In the past I have considered myself to be pretty brave. I really did. Parachute jumping was just one of those things I did because, well, I was a brave person. In other situations I had to be brave, whether I felt like it or not. In other situations I had to brave even though it wasn’t really an option. So I learned to be brave by default. Indeed some of those difficult times I look back upon and I am thankful.
Life nowadays I feel doesn’t have a lot of room to be brave. Although some would say giving birth to a small human is brave and doing that five times over, well some just say that is crazy.
Recently, there came a moment were I got to be brave.
God said ‘let go and let me’ and I said YES. It has been months of prayer walking and receiving prophetic words about what God was giving me to carry but yet I still hadn’t made that final jump. The moment where I let go and trust in that in flying stage of what seems like nothing. Like the bird who just lets the wind carry her, waiting for the next move. The coasting moment in the middle were I feel I am waiting but always trusting that He is at work. It is a scary place to be but with it comes incredible freedom, joy and peace.
I have found in my walk that when we say yes to things it means saying a no to something to else. The Creator of heaven and earth, my Father has never made me to be worn out, weary or hard pressed on every side and although I wasn’t feeling like this, I knew this Yes meant I could become all of the above so with my Yes had to come a No.
When He says take my yoke it means walk with me, let me show you, let me teach you.
And so came my week of being brave.
The moments of stopping ministries I loved because I knew my husband and my kids take priority every time, all the time and the balance cannot and should not be ever tipped. No longer seeing a forest of things to do and becoming robotic in the organisation but finding a freedom in the getting the gentle unforced rhythms of grace.
Being in that beginning stage of seeing months of prayer walking starting to bear small buds of fruit. Starting that journey of building mutual friendships in the hope that they see Christ in me. As I love and I am loved. The journey of not going to the broken but to live with the broken. Caring and being cared for. To respect and make sure projects are out of focus but loving people in focus.
Taking the time to just ‘be’. Showing people they are worth coming just as they are.
First, though I have to say no and let go. This is never easy, and do I know for sure that this was what I heard the Father say? Of course I don’t but where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. I know what obedience looks and feels like and for me right now in this moment I only want to do what my Father tells me to do and trust Him with the rest.
(photos thanks to ruthkellyphyotography.com. http://www.facebook.com/ruthkellyphotographyni)