Embracing the chaos……remembering to breathe

Embracing the chaos…and remembering to breathe.

Right now all is quiet, I walk around my house in complete silence, if you listen hard enough you might just about hear baby Seth on the monitor quietly breathing.

Its 9pm.  All is quiet.

If you rewind just 1hr ago you would have heard the girls in their beds both telling me about their days, not waiting for the other to finish, their excited voices trying to get out as quick as possible before I say I have to leave for lights out.  You would have heard their woes, their tales and their sorrows, I often wonder and sometimes get a bit frustrated at the timing of this ritual but then I realize all is quiet and they feel safe.  So I embrace it.

If you rewind 3hrs you would have heard friends for tea, Joel screaming excitedly as he shows his latest trick involving a skateboard and a slide. You would have heard Noah fighting for attention to be at the centre of our worlds.  As he shows us his gymnastics (naked)…..again!   You would have heard the busy, noisy, chaotic tea time followed by a busy, noisy, chaotic bath time.

If you rewind 13hrs and you would have heard …… breakfast time, uniform time, getting up time, tired grumpy kids time.  We are frantically trying to get everyone out, fully dressed, fully fed, no tears, no arguments and on time…. Sometimes we succeed sometimes we fail.

It is a surprise to some that we chose to have all 5 of our kidlets …..we chose, we planned,  we prayed and we rejoiced every time when we saw that blue line.  We are 2 people who enjoy our own space and our own time and now in the midst of the chaos we are learning that is becoming less and less.  Do I love it? Every minute.  Would I change it? Not one minute.  Is it hard? Every day.  Is God good? All the time.

We embrace the chaos…… and breathe

I didn’t get married till I was 28 and as soon we could we started trying for Abigail. I loved my life before Glen – being single was fun, exciting and carefree but I was ready for the next season.  We weren’t married 12 months before Abigail was born and for us this was perfect.. We believe that Gods timing is perfect and I think Glen and I have embraced the chaos pretty well.  I think we do it well together.

People ask how do I do it? People say to me things like ‘you have your hands full’  or ‘I am sure its noisy /busy in your house’ or the old chestnut ‘ have you not heard of TV’ I guess to some this way is odd but I love it and life to me is full/busy but never in the negative sense.

I don’t always do each day very well but what I do is take each day at a time and remember always that tomorrow will worry about itself (Matthew 6:24) I will do my upmost to not give in to the fears both big and small but I will enjoy the moment… and remember peace beyond my understanding is mine for the taking (Philippians 4:7) not worrying/get frustrated about the washing, the polishing, the hoovering, the sticky fingers but I will embrace the chaos and breathe……I will care less about what people think of my house and care more about what God thinks of my character.

My heavenly Father (for some reason) has given me 5 precious lives to be a mum to, to love, look after, care for, protect, encourage, teach and to have fun with.

So when the day doesn’t go as planned and we as a family face things that weren’t in Plan A for that day I will try to be a mum who embraces the chaos and breathes.  I want to be clothed in strength and dignity and laugh at the day(s) to come (Proverbs 31:25)

I want my kids to watch us lead a church with all the joy and the pain that it comes with and see us do it with courage and strength that comes from Him who gives and takes away.  I want to show them how to love, forgive, help, care and embrace all who come our way and that for me is watching my attitude towards others, how I talk about others and mostly how I love when no one is watching.


Right now my house is quiet and it will be (hopefully) for another  11hrs but already I miss the noise, the chats, the hugs, the arguments, the tantrums, the laughter and the fun and tomorrow I will hopefully once more be able to……..

…………embrace the chaos and breathe!